Autism Angel

There are many theories as to why Autism Spectrum Disorder is so prevalent today. Statistics show that 1 in 88 Canadian boys will be diagnosed with autism before they hit ten years old. Personally, I believe ot is much more common than that even … and 1 in 88 boys is a pretty scary statistic. I am the mother of a wonderful 13 year old son Kyler who was diagnosed with autism at two and a half years old. I am not kidding you when I say that just about every single time I am talking to another mother and I happen to mention my son being autistic I get a reply along the lines of, “I have an autistic son as well.’’ Or “My nephew has autism.” Or maybe it is their best friend’s child. My point being is it is always a little guy who is close to them somehow. Even when I think back to my school days. I honestly do not remember one kid in my class or the classes close to my grade, and being a country school I went with the same 400 kids for 10 years & therefore knew everyone well enough, that was diagnosed with autism. Most would probably say, “Oh. They did not diagnose children as thoroughly 20 years ago. If they had you would have known several kids in your school that had ASD.” Yes. If not for having an intimate relationship with ASD I would probably have the exact same answer. But, the truth is I really can not remember anyone like my son. A child with very little speech such as my son.

There are so many different theories as to why the cases of children with ASD has grown so much and at such a startling rate. Some think it is the diet our children are subjected to now. All the processed foods and glucose. Other believe that ASD and the vaccines most children get, and that we are certainly recommended by our physicians and the overall health ministry in Canada. The theories go on and on and as a mother of a child that was diagnosed with ASD I completely understand how frustrating it is to hear from professionals, “Well, yes. Your child definitely has Autism. We don't know where it comes from, or really anything about how it works and their is no cure.” For any parent who has been through a diagnosis of autism in their child, or really any type of ailment may it be physical or mental that is still quite unknown within the médical community, I am sure one feeling we all share would be this intense heavy sense of frustration. Imagine someone telling you, “Well Mom. Well Dad. After our series of tests we have come to the consensus that Kyler does indeed have Autism Spectrum Disorder. There is really not much we know about Autism to this date (today being April 2007), we don't know where this disability happens. We don't know why it happens and all we know is there will quite likely never be a cure.

Even being as prepared as you can be going into that diagnosis appointment, the news was still very shocking to me which surprised me. When I finally stepped out of that lovely and dangerously comforting place called denial and began allowing myself to actually learn about the subject so I would have a better idea as to exactly what was going on with my first and only child. The love of my life. However, in all reality I already knew then what I knew post formal diagnosis. However, even both his father and I went through a mourning phase, I guess you could call it. We lived Kyler every bit as much as we always had. We talked often about how we loved him more now. However, as I will guess most mothers out there would probably feel the same as I would every now and than if our exact circumstance became theres. One evening about three or four months after finding out I was visiting with my long-term girlfriend who I have known since 7th grade. This particular day had been a particularly hard one for reasons I can't even remember now, and I had gone to Katie’s house that evening to debrief and have a coffee. Something I didn't and still don't do enough and I found myself in tears the moment she asked me how I had been lately. It was like every thought I had ever had about all this I was letting go of that moment while she did what the best of friends do at a time like this. She didn't say a word and just listened. When I finally took a deep breath and had stopped crying. It was quiet for a moment before Katie said something to me that literally changed the entire way I thought and felt about everything that was going on with my son. I wanted to share this story because regardless of any story that shares even the smallest of similarities, and there are so many parents out there that are dealing with this difficult time right now and I believe it will help others as well. She softly said, “Well Kelt. Have you ever thought about it this way. Just maybe God knew that you had such a giant, loving heart and He knew that no matter what challenges or differences Kyler has and will have you will love him every bit as much regardless.”

It took a few moments for me to completely absorb exactly what she had said to me. I thought about my son and how much I loved him. I thought about how much I loved who he was as a little person and that at the end of the day would I nor Kyler’s father would not ever change a single thing about KyKy. Autism and all. He was who he was and I wasn't going to let his Autism put a label on him, as though anything about Kyler had now changed.

  I didn't have the words, and still don't to this day to express to Katie how right she was and and how much in that one moment in time she had forever changed my life. I just reached out, hugged her and thanked her. I left her apartment that day feeling like a different woman that had first entered it. I felt lighter and much less frustrated about the entire ordeal because now, for the first time since I first began to suspect Kyler may be Autistic I felt like I had some answers. To this day, more than ten years later, I still believe that what Katie said  that evening was true.

• Thank You, Katie!      

                                              1135 words